Surviving, thriving: Clean and sober mother in better place with daughter

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“If there was anything in the world you could get for a gift, what would you pick?” Helena Costa asked her 8-year-old daughter, Leeshalei.

“If there was anything in the world you could get for a gift, what would you pick?” Helena Costa asked her 8-year-old daughter, Leeshalei.

The youngster could have asked for something extravagant.

Maybe a bicycle, or tickets for a movie night with friends.

Instead, Leeshalei said she’d like a pen that draws 3-D pictures.

“What’s that?” her mother asked, exhibiting the reaction many adults do when kids mention new products.

Doodler pens, available as “starter kits” in Hilo, shoot out a viscous plastic line that hardens in place, allowing users to “draw” a 3-D sculpture either on a surface or from up in the air down to the surface.

Leeshalei is a budding artist and likes to draw in 2-D, so her mom is not surprised about the desire to expand to another dimension.

The pair have come a long way together and their bond includes surviving some really tough times.

Costa, who drives a school bus and works at Keaukaha General Store, is nearing two years of being clean and sober after long-term drug addiction that led her to lose her car and house and affected her relationships.

“God finally woke me up and said, ya know, ‘What are you doing?’” Costa said.

She previously was a client of HOPE Services, which helps people get into stable housing. But her mental illness of addiction was like a metaphorical wall between her and the stability she needed in order to parent.

With God’s help, she says, she climbed over that wall — and is still climbing away from it.

When someone handed her a business card from HOPE Services a second time, she was ready to receive help.

“They gave us clothes. They fed us. They gave us places to go where we could get fed,” Costa said.

She got three jobs, in part to help her avoid the chance of someone offering to reconnect her with drugs.

“I finally got myself a car and I got my daughter back,” Costa said.

She and Leeshalei lived in their car while Costa worked on improving their chances for a stable life in the future.

Sitting in the car with Leeshalei, Costa got a call from a HOPE Services representative.

“She called me up out of the blue,” Costa said.

There was a small apartment available. Did Costa want it?

“I’m sitting in my car with like 100 bucks in my pocket … I need gas to get to work every day. We got to eat. I just remember her saying, ‘God is in control. Don’t worry about it. We’ll move you in.’”

That very day, a coworker filled in for her at work with a supervisor’s approval and Costa tossed belongings from the car into the apartment before it was time to pick her daughter up from school.

When Leeshalei got in the car that afternoon, she wondered where all their stuff was. Costa handed her daughter a key. But even when they pulled up in front of the apartment, Leeshalei thought they were going to house-sit, which they’ve sometimes done.

Instead, she realized when she saw their belongings inside, that they had a home of their own.

“She’s a good kid,” Costa said. “She doesn’t complain. When we were staying in our car, she’d be the one that would say, ‘You know, Mom, it’s going to be OK. We’ll be all right.’”

And, they are all right.

Costa maintains two jobs now and formed new relationships with friends who support her recovery in any way they can.

“Who I put myself around now is so important not only for me but for my kids,” she said. Her 4-year-old son still lives with his grandfather but has an active relationship with Costa. Leeshalei also lived with her grandfather before moving back with Costa.

Costa humbly explained that the family does not have many needs because they have a frying pan, a hot plate and “a couple plastic bowls and forks.”

When asked, Costa said they could use “new wheels,” but essentially have all they need.

“We didn’t have anything before and we have so much now, even if it’s the little that we do have,” she said. “… It’s good. It’s good. We’ve come a long way. But we’re still getting better. I just got a raise at my job and I’m training for my CDL now.”

She wants other people who struggle with addiction, mental illness, homelessness and financial struggles to know that she has survived and thrived — and so can you.

“There’s always a way, yeah. There’s always a way,” she said.

Leeshalei walked by, stopped behind her mom and wrapped her arms spontaneously around Costa’s neck.

“I love you,” Leeshalei said.

“I love you, too,” her mom said, closing her eyes to enjoy the moment and gently rubbing her daughter’s hands.

“By the way, did you do your homework today?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Leeshalei replied.

Email Jeff Hansel at jhansel@hawaiitribune-herald.com.

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Editor’s Note: During this time of giving, perhaps you have the ability to get a gift for someone in need. The Hawaii Tribune-Herald reached out to area nonprofits, seeking ideas for clients who might not otherwise receive gifts this year. We invite you to consider fulfilling the wishes of individuals included in a list accompanying this article. To offer a gift, contact the featured organizations.

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ORGANIZATIONS AND CLIENT WISHES

Big Island Substance Abuse Council

16-179 Melekahiwa St., Keaau; 969-9994; contact CEO Dr. Hannah Preston-Pita

Therapeutic living programs that serve parents and their children seek gifts for:

• 2-month-old boy

• 2-month-old girl

• 6-month-old boy

• 6-month-old girl

• 9-month-old boy

• 7-month-old girl

• 1-year-old girl

• Two 2-year-old boys

• Two 2-year-old girls

• Two 5-year-old boys

• Two 5-year-old girls

• 7-year-old boy

• 7-year-old girl

• Two 8-year-old boys

• Two 8-year-old girls

Child and Family Service

1045A Kilauea Ave., Hilo; 935-2188; contact Pearl Nakamura, pnakamura@cfs-hawaii.org

• Family unable to afford graduation packet for high school senior who is graduating. Need packet that includes graduation announcements, cap and gown.

• Teen with own room would like curtains and a comforter for her bed.

East Hawaii Domestic Abuse Shelter (Child and Family Service)

935-2188; contact Leenette, lkealoha@cfs-hawaii.org

• Mother of five children would like beach toys for her children.

• Mother would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself (lotion, bath soaps).

• A single female would like a bath robe.

• Four single females would like a gift basket with items to pamper themselves.

• Mother of four would like toy cars for her two boys and Troll dolls from the movie “Trolls” for her two daughters.

• Mother would like a gift basket to pamper herself (makeup, bath soaps/lotions).

• A single female would like roller skates for herself, size 5.

• Mother of two daughters would like Elsa and Anna sleepwear for both girls, ages 4 and 5.

East Hawaii Domestic Violence Advocacy (Child and Family Service)

1045A Kilauea Ave., Hilo; 935-2188; contact Kathleen Stevens or Gordlynn Dias, gdias@cfs-hawaii.org

• Mother of four children would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself (makeup, bath soaps/lotions).

• Mother of three would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself.

• Grandmother of four children would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself and gifts for her grandchildren; one boy age 8 and three girls ages 12, 4 and 1 month.

• Mother of one child would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself.

• Mother of three children would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself.

• Mother of three children would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself.

• Mother of four children would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself.

• Mother of four children would like a gift basket with items to pamper herself.

HOPE Services

(http://hopeserviceshawaii.org)

296 Kilauea Ave., Hilo; 217-2830; contact Malu Debus, sdebus@hopeserviceshawaii.org

• Single mother with sons ages 3 and 10 would like personal care and beauty items for herself and toys or bikes for the boys.

• Single mother with a 6-year-old daughter would like personal care and beauty items for herself and toys or a bike for the daughter.

Hospice of Hilo (hospiceofhilo.org)

1011 Waianuenue Ave., Hilo; 934-2919; contact Cathy at cathyh@hospiceofhilo.org, 969-1733

• 68-year-old female would like stamps and stationary.

• 67-year-old female would like a journal and pens.

Strong Families Home Visiting Program (Child and Family Service)

1045A Kilauea Ave., Hilo; 987-5358 (ask for Jessie Molina)

• A family in need of a microwave.

• A young mother, whose 18-month-old daughter is in foster care, needs a baby bag filled with items to take along during their visitations, such as 3T diapers, 18-month clothes, wipes, powder and a sippy cup. The mother currently has nothing to take with her.

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If your organization is not listed and you would like it added for next year, email Jeff Hansel at jhansel@hawaiitribune-herald.com.